Memories of a Dysfunctional Family
by tick.tock.clocks
Summary: A oneshot collection based around the Matthews family, with other characters appearing occasionally. May or may not be compliant with the movies. Chapter One - Eric and Daniel have a conversation at a small café. It goes about as well as one would expect.


The two sat just outside of the small café, not speaking to each other but rather choosing to simply just stare out at the wave of cars passing by slowly in the midst of traffic. They remained that way for about a minute before finally one coughed to break the silence.

"So," he started, choosing his words carefully, "Have you even given any thought to what I told you earlier?"

"Of course," the other replied shortly, grabbing his lemonade and taking a small sip from it, "It's kind of hard not to when you tell me constantly every single day of my life to think about my actions and consider the consequences. It's not the first time you've talked to me about this, Dad."

"I'm just trying to look out for you," he defended, "I can't protect you forever. You don't want to spend the rest of your life rotting in a jail cell, do you?"

"It's just a one-time thing—"

"That's happened five times over the course of this month!" He sighed before continuing, "Daniel. You aren't a criminal. Don't make yourself out to be one."

Daniel narrowed his eyes and continued staring out at the cars. A minute passed by in silence and Eric wondered if his son was even thinking about the topic at hand anymore; he always seemed to try and shrug the subject off of him and sneak away to do something else. Eric felt a small smirk creep on his face; he wouldn't allow that this time. If there was anything he was good at, it was interrogation, he liked to think.

"Stop smiling," Daniel muttered, looking back over to his father, "You look like a criminal yourself when you do that."

"And how so?"

"I haven't seen you smile for a long time. Usually you just have this stone-faced expression on your face or you're just angry yelling about me for some stupid thing. Seeing you smile is creepy. Stop that."

"Would you prefer it if I smiled every time you steal something from now on? Maybe it would finally knock some sense through your thick head that _stealing is against the law_."

"I know it's against the law," Daniel looked away.

"Then why do it in the first place?" Eric frowned now, and he felt a small spark of irritation when he noticed Daniel starting to adopt a small smirk of his own. "The only reason I even bail you out from the security rooms is because you're my _son_. Anyone else wouldn't have given you so many chances. I have half a mind to just leave you there next time."

Another minute passed silently before Daniel replied, "Then do it. I'm not asking you to pick me up. What's stopping you from just abandoning me like you did with mom?"

"I did _not_ abandon your mother," Eric felt himself dive deeper into the danger zone, "Your mother left _me_ when she started filing the divorce papers."

"She wouldn't have _had_ to file the divorce if _you_ hadn't started _cheating_ on her with that whore!"

"Kerry is _not_ a whore!" He knew others were watching their debate now, but he could hardly even bring himself to care. "How could you even _call_ her that? You've never even properly met her!"

"I don't have to meet her to know she is one! She _knew_ you were married, and she went after you anyway! And you're just to blame; _you_ responded to her come-ons and started going out with her! You think we wouldn't notice?" Daniel slammed his hands on the table and stood abruptly, almost knocking the chair behind him over.

Eric felt the normal sensation of his anger spiking to a dangerous level, but struggled to keep it under control. They were in public. This was his son. It would do him no good to explode out here. He spoke in a low voice, "You wouldn't understand, Daniel. You don't know how _hard_ it is… to be a police officer. To be an adult. To be me."

"That's not an excuse for what you did."

"I broke up with her."

"You still went out with her."

"It's over now."

"You still went out with her."

"We're not even partners anymore."

"_You still went out with her_."

"Damn it, Daniel; can't you see that I'm just trying to make things right?" Eric groaned, looking up at his son. "I got caught in an affair, broke it off with the woman who started it all, retired to some boring position of filing paperwork behind a desk that may or may not have to do with my own damn _divorce_, and now I am having an argument with my only son who hates me. You think you have it hard? What do you do? You go around random stores, taking small worthless items and getting yourself caught; whether it's on purpose or not, I don't know and neither do I care. Then all you have to do is sit back and relax until _I _get your ass out of there and lecture you, and then you go home, sleep, and do it all over again the next day! Who really has the hard life here?"

Daniel was quiet for a moment, and Eric reveled in his short lived victory. His son blinked and could only respond with a low, "I never said my life was worse than yours."

Eric scoffed. "You sure make it seem like it."

"You're assuming things."

"And I'm correct, aren't I? If you know and acknowledge that my life is worse than yours, then you only realize that you're just making it even harder for me, right? Why go around shoplifting? Make it easier for me to go on."

Daniel didn't respond. Instead, he chose to slowly lower himself back into his seat and occupy himself with drinking his lemonade from a straw. Eric felt his eyebrow twitch as minutes went by and Daniel hadn't taken his mouth off the straw even once.

"It doesn't take that long to drink, Daniel." His son finally lowered the cup.

"I'm thirsty."

"You were stalling."

"No. I was thirsty."

"You were stalling by drinking from that straw for a long time. Were you even drinking any of it?"

"Of course."

"The amount of lemonade in your cup hasn't gone down at all." Eric pointed to the clear glass. The liquid inside had the glass filled almost to the top.

"… That's strange."

"That was a weak argument from the first place, Daniel."

Daniel kicked his feet under the table, careful not to hit his father's legs. Eric felt his anger ebb away as more time passed, and looked around to see that the audience watching them either seemed to lose interest or at least pretend not to care anymore. Good. He'd prefer it if they pretended their disinterest rather than stare at them.

He took out his wallet and removed a few dollars to pay for the drinks and laid them out on the table before he stood up and grabbed his bag. "Let's go, Daniel. We're going home. Unless you want me to drive you to your mom's place; we can do that, too."

"I can drive myself," Daniel muttered as he grabbed his own school bag and hoisted it over his shoulder, "I'm not a child anymore."

"Whose car did we take from the detention center?" Eric asked sarcastically, fumbling around in his pocket for the keys. "Oh, that's right, _mine_. So unless you want to _walk_ yourself over there…"

Daniel took the hint. "Fine, fine. We'll go to your house. Don't expect me to talk to you on the way or even after we get there."

"We still need to discuss your budding criminal life."

"Haven't we already done that?"

"Not in enough detail for me." Daniel groaned and Eric smirked. "I'm only looking out for you, Daniel."

"You don't have to. Also, stop smiling."

"I don't _have_ to, but I _want_ to. What kind of parent would I be if I didn't care for my own son? Also, no, I won't."

"You're not exactly the role-model type for a good parent."

"I never said I was." The two walked along the perimeter of the café to make it to Eric's small car. "Get in."

Daniel muttered, "You don't have to tell me twice," before opening the door to the passenger seat and getting inside.

Eric got in the car himself and started the engine whilst thinking over the course of events that had taken place just a few minutes ago. It was his idea to go to the café (Daniel would never propose going anywhere with his father other than home), but he honestly hadn't expected it to turn out like it did. In retrospect, he really should have.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Daniel fitting headphones over his ears to drown out any conversation his father would possibly want to strike up with him while driving to his house.

Eric sighed, and they drove on in silence.

**OoO**

**A/N: what am I doing I still need to update the song of you and one last dance ahh**

**So… this'll just be a series of oneshots. My current obsessions constantly change, and it just shifted from Super Smash Brothers over to Saw. Somehow. You can expect… semi-frequent updates, at least until my interest shifts over to something else again. I don't imagine this Saw obsession will change for a while though, aha ;;**

… **If anyone wants to request a particular oneshot, then go ahead! I'm all for new ideas. They can be about anything really, as long as it has to do with the Matthews family (after all, this oneshot collection **_**is**_** centered around them). It can be AU, an alternate ending, or anything, really. You can include other characters in your request as well, if you want.**

**Uh… I think that's it! I actually don't have much to say about this oneshot, other than the fact that I didn't even know why I wrote this and where it was going. I will admit that it ended kind of abruptly, but… I was never good at endings aha ;; Hopefully, writing these oneshots will improve my writing. (I did 64 oneshots for Konjiki no Gash Bell!/Zatch Bell! once. I'm not sure if that helped my writing skill, but I like to think that it did. xD)**

**Thanks for reading!**


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